Whether to hire a Wedding Planner/Day of Coordinator, part II the Day of Coordinator

Whether or not you want to hire a DOC or the site requires you to hire a DOC, be sure you know what her/his job is. We have found many differences in what these individuals will do and how hard they work the event. A few new to the industry told us they had been to many weddings and thought it would be fun—they work as if they are guests. But this is hard work. I always look at their shoes—spiky or high heels are not working shoes.

This is a detail-oriented business. The person must be organized and exact. They need be accessible, especially on your wedding day—will they give you a 24-hour phone number?



Unexpected Snow was Gone by Noon



The Birkby site manager was out of town for two of our weekend weddings several years ago. Since there was a DOC for each, I didn’t think there would be much for me to do. For the first wedding, I was right—the DOC was hard working who constantly looked around and did what was needed. Boy, was the second wedding different! I took a photo of the three DOCs sitting on the bench during dinner. When I asked them if they were going to straighten up the bride’s room and help her pack up, they said that that wasn’t their job. I found out that many things weren’t their job.

So that expectations are met for each, we have a list of activities that may need to be taken care of during an event. Use this as a guide so there is clear agreement as to what will and will not be done:



Cake ready to be moved to the Gazebo

• Confirm that programs, place cards, guest book, and other needed items are onsite, and in their proper place
• Provide welcoming touches for bridal party e.g., if food is to be in the rooms, etc.
• Keep upstairs rooms clean; disposed of food and other trash properly.
• Contact vendors with day-of issues (for example, what if the cake is late?). have all phone numbers.
• Take care of any other details including placement of flowers (work with the florist), favors, votives, place cards, guest book, etc.
• Help bride and bridesmaids, mothers, groom, groomsmen, fathers get ready. Most planners pin on corsages and boutonnieres and tie bow-ties.
• Keep things on schedule and throughout the event check with site manager, caterer, and DJ.
• Line up bridal party for ceremony.
• Queue musicians and wedding participants.
• Straighten the bride’s dress, ensure everything is picture perfect.
• Keep in contact with photographer. Make sure all photos requested by the bride are taken.
• Make sure the bride and groom are served drinks and food.
• Be sure the food service and the property are kept neat and tidy.
• Direct guests from the cocktail area to the reception area.
• Work with master of ceremonies (usually the DJ) for announcement of the wedding party.
• Line up wedding party correctly for the dinner introductions.
• Keep things moving and on schedule: speeches, dances, cake cutting, bouquet toss, farewell activity.
• Through out the event, the planner should keep a close eye on the bride and groom to insure every detail is going as the bride and groom had envisioned.
• Help in gathering gifts and making sure each has the card securely attached.
• Coordinate the departure of the couple (limo, transportations) and the guests.
• Help to clear all items from the bridal salon, groom’s lounge and all other areas of the property.
• Pack food/cake for the bride and groom for later.
• If the wedding is in the church, ask how the flowers are to be moved or picked up.



Chatting during the Cocktail House

We want the DOC to know the property and any rules that may influence how things are done. Good DOCs will become familiar with a new site much before decisions are made. Most will attend the pre-event meeting which develops the time schedule and define placement of activities.

Bridal Party Entering the Reception for Introductions

Whether to hire a Wedding Planner/Day of Coordinator, Part I the Wedding Planner

Are you out of town a lot? Going to school and working? Will your wedding be large or complex? Do you live a distance from your wedding site? Do you have time to visit vendors? Do you need someone to provide ideas, or someone to find specific products?

If so, you may be wondering about hiring a wedding planner or a day of coordinator. Some sites may require that you hire someone at least for that day.

Whether or not you have to hire someone, be sure you know what they will and won’t do.

Thumb print and well wishes for the Bridal Couple

Favors and place cards displayed on the Sideboard

Beautiful centerpiece with soft mint green linens

This is a detail-oriented business. The person must be organized and love being exact. They need to be accessible and responsive.

We don’t get involved as much with the WP duties, although we answer their site-usage questions, especially if they have never worked our site. We help identify good vendors who have worked the site, explain the best use of the property, give them photos of various activities, etc. But there are other decisions that need to be made.

The following list is a compilation from WP web sites:

• Help select reputable wedding vendors (e.g., caterer, florist, limousine company, entertainment, officiant/celebrant, cake, photographer, stationer, etc.)
• Handle all invitees and RSVPs: invitations, mailings, replies, seating lists/place cards, hotel reservations
• Read and negotiate contracts
• Understand and stick to your budget
• Know and follow your style, colors, and theme and they need to have a good sense of current fashion (you need to click with this person)
• Advice for the wedding reception (new trends and ideas for seating, favors, table decor)
• Prepare a detailed time-line schedule
• Design a floor plan, site plan
• provide advice on the wedding ceremony, possible scenarios for the procession and recession, music
• Conduct the ceremony rehearsal
• Organize/orchestrate the wedding reception activities (receiving line, speeches, first dance, bouquet toss, cake cutting, etc.) see part II for the DOC

Be sure to know:

• the time they work the of day the reception
• if they work alone or with an assistant
• who is your primary contact, if not her/him who is, who present you with ideas, will work that day
• which non-wedding day activities (rehearsal dinner, reception, post-activities, etc.) they will be involved with

Be sure you see all vendor contracts including the prices. If you don’t, you may pay an surcharge to the WP and not know it. WPs should attend the primary meetings the bride has with venue and caterer, and offer to have you present if they are meeting with your vendors.

Before you sign a contract, be sure you know what is and is not included.

Here are some sites about their duties: http://weddings.about.com/od/gettingstarted/a/weddingplanners.htm, http://www.superpages.com/supertips/wedding-event-coordinator.html



Frilly linens add a cloud-like atmosphere to dinner

Doing it yourself? There is a lot of help out there: http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-checklists.html, http://easyweddingplanning.net/articles/wedding-planning-checklist/, http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning-tools.aspx, http://weddings.weddingchannel.com/wedding-planning-tools.aspx?MsdVisit=1, http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/273406/my-wedding-tools

Children at the Wedding Reception--Some hints and Ideas to Make the Evening More Fun for All

Understand that children get bored at adult-centered events; chatting with friends and meeting new people may be enjoyable for you but that will not hold their interest long. Most experts say that if you are going to have kids at the reception, provide a room or area and kid-friendly entertainment for them. If they are bored, they may misbehave and upset the good time of others. On the other hand, if no one is designate to watch them, they may hurt themselves or the venue.

Ideas:

Food

Ask your caterer for kid-friendly fare and beverages. Or order a pizza or other foods the children will like. Make sure that the kids’ meals are served in a timely manner.

Play

Kids need stimulation so provide something they will enjoy and make plans to keep them entertained. Bring coloring books, crayons, and other activities that might keep them amused for a few hours. Ask the parents to bring their favorite games and movies. Check out http://simplysherlock.com/ for a cute idea for a customized coloring book.

Plan activities appropriate to their ages:

Have an array of board games and possibly a movie already to go

Short activities for kids should be planned

Offer individual or group bags with coloring and craft packs

Ask any guest with children to also bring favorite toys and games

Bring video game systems – be sure you have a TV available

Consider games such as Twister or even incorporate fun dancing tunes.

Don't expect that the children will participate in these activities on their own. Instead asked the childcare providers to encourage them to help the kids to get started in their activities. 

Remember to have a good ratio of children to childcare providers.

For favors, send them home with candy or a small toy. Just make sure it is age appropriate.

Keep in mind that your wedding should be a joyous occasion for you and your guests. Children at weddings can't always be counted on to behave. Babies might cry during the wedding ceremony and young children can fidget and ask questions. In many cases parents can manage their children, but what about those who can't or won't? If children are invited to your wedding, but sure your nature and temperament allows for these little interruptions.

Here is one of our favorite stories about a ring bearer: As the little boy takes the rings up the aisle, every few steps he turns around, makes a ferocious face and growls at the crowd. The crowd laughs hysterically but no one understands. Later, when he's asked what he was doing, he seriously answers, "Being the ring bear!"

For older posts...

...please go to our orginial blog at
http://leesburgchapel.blogspot.com/

How To #3 -- Seating Arrangements and Charts

Paper-based systems have not gone completely out of style. There are still some useful ways to use pen and paper. An example is when you create your seating chart for the reception.

Guests usually like to be told where to sit. If a woman doesn’t know anyone and her beau is at the head table or palling around with his high school friends, she will be grateful to be seated with people who have similar interests. If there is no specified seating, your friend from your hometown who came all this way, may find the only seat left is at a table with your friends from work who may not include her in their conversations. 

Jen at Something Turquoise has the perfect paper-based solution; the picture is from her blog, http://somethingturquoise.com/2011/09/02/diy-easy-seating-chart/

It is color-coded so you can easily see if there will be a good rapport at the table.

For additional information on do’s and don’ts:

http://www.classyweddingfavors.com/reception-Seating-Charts.htm

http://www.ourweddingday.com/advice/Reception/How-to-Arrange-Wedding-Seating/1129.aspx

Of course, there are excellent software systems out there at Wedding Wire http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-planning/wedding-seating-tables.html and other weddings sites.

When you do present the place cards, please organize alphabetically by last names, not by table number.

How To #2: Who Marries You

Whether the person who marries you is a friend or a minister, this is your officiant. The person may be ordained or conduct a civil ceremony.

Each state has its own rules about officiants. Visit Virginia’s http://www.vdh.state.va.us/vital_records/marry.htm to find theirs.

If the officiant is from another state be sure to call the Circuit Court in the county where you will marry for s/he may need to sign a petition and provide a filing fee.

A relative or friend can marry you by getting a one-time license. In Loudoun County, Virginia, the rules are:

To be a Civil Celebrant or One-Time-Ceremony Civil Celebrant, the individual(s) must reside in Loudoun County.  A petition must be filed and a $84 filing fee paid to the Circuit Court.  The completed petition will be forward to Circuit Court judge for his review and approval.  Once the order has been approved, the petitioner must post a $500 surety bond and take an oath before the Clerk.

http://www.loudoun.gov/Default.aspx?tabid=3645

Information about the decision process when selecting an officiant is available at
the National Association of Wedding Officiants: http://www.nawoonline.com/tips.htm

from Brides.com: http://www.brides.com/wedding-ideas/wedding-ceremonies/2006/12/civil-ceremony-success

from Martha Stewart: http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/226743/expert-advice-officiant

from ezinearticles: http://ezinearticles.com/?Selecting-an-Officiant-For-Your-Wedding-Ceremony---What-to-Know-Before-You-Walk-Down-the-Aisle&id=4316652


PS:
To obtain a marriage license see http://www.loudoun.gov/index.aspx?NID=1162 or your own courthouse.